19 years

Since i was 16 i started writing something before my birthday comes and it serves as the list of things i've been through for the whole year. I'm about to turn 19 and i'm up to so much in my life. In terms of how my life goes on, nothing change aside to the lessons i've learn and achievements i've earn. This whole letter will be more of how thankful i am for all the glory days god shared with me. I've lost things which means to me but the people stayed never fail to show me what's life after losing. I failed the people who i value the most but they never close any door to understand and listen. They show me how lucky i am disregarding material wealth. They are my real treasure as well as my laughters which i consider the best moment of my life. God is good at all times despite i doubt his decisions. Thanks for being my everything. Thanks for making me the best of what i can be. You've show me the two sides of life that i clearly differentiate. I may not be the perfect or best person you've created to shower blessings yet you show how giving person you are. Despite those times i'm upset or more likely depress about how you manipulated our life, i never release my hand holding yours. I'm up to what you can offer but pardon me if at one or more times i become the worst of who i am. I won't give excuses because i don't find excuses reasonable. God, thanks for giving me every single things i have right now though i don't get the point of others irresponsibility. The most person i like to give my biggest thanks of all my life is my mom and dad. They're the best person i have. They never stop giving the best for me. As i decide things for my own good, they become my strength because they never stop trusting. They are my inspiration for every morning i wake up. I may fail most of their expectation, still they love me unconditionally. I admit my mistakes, i accept their blame, i understand their depression and i sincerely want to say how sorry i am for not being the best as what i should be. I'm going to offer everything i have for the best people god shared to me. Thanks.

You saw me from worst to best, from weakest to strongest and from simple to complicated. I know i'm not perfect but you let me be part of your life. We become better each struggles we'd encounter, the laughter we remember forever, to pain we heal and forget. Though sometimes i let you felt less of who you are, i hope you get my point of letting you feel so. I may decide something that hurts you, i sincerely want to give my sorry at those times. You're part of my life that become special each day. Thanks for imparting things and i hope you learn something from me as well. As a sister, i won't stop learning things in life. Don't forget that life is not just about good things, it's about losing a nice game and trying to work a messed life. I'm not existing in your life for nothing. You know me well enough and i thank you for accepting me whole heartedly.

I may be sensitive for others, strong for someone, lucky for some but i can't deny that once i become others think i am. I just wish you'll continue showering things, understanding everything and loving me. You know how much i suffer, i just hope that time will soon comes. I won't stop believe for impossible for our life is about making things possible. I have change some point in my life but i can assure that i'm still the person you once knew.

Birthday wish? Few years ago, i keep praying someone to come my way, but this year will different, i wish my dream will come true. As for those people who knew me well, you know what my dream is. I keep praying for that to happen as early as possible, forgetting what's my usual wish. Hay sana.