TUESDAY(JANUARY 29, 2008)

Hidden disappointment

Kept asking my why’s

But answers seem too far

I keep praying ‘HOPE’ stays

Alone : c Answers to questions are hard to find. I thought life itself is HARD but I’m wrong. Only people choose hard, only I make things look wrong. I once said I’m CINDERELLA without knowing who she really is. Prince charming… funny remembering how I define ‘life’ back then. Innocent yet there are points I just realize now. Kids do know life’s challenges; kids are too excited to learn how come growing up seems to be a night mare.

I’m afraid to feel alone, insecure and unworthy. Life now is like looking back yesterday and trying to move on at the present day. Life indeed is a cycle; you’re criticize by others and understand by your family. Wrongs are always wrong, no one disagree with that fact but wrongs have its right reason of existence. Life is a world tour wherein you choose between famous landmark or simple paradise. Our life is a history… One day it will be written and becomes a book, can I view my own summary? ‘Ang sarap maging bata’, ‘Ang sarap ng buhay estudyante’ One day I’m going to miss those times and I’ll definitely remember this day I write. Growing up is like changing clothes and choosing things. It’s risky, unpredictable and never been so sure. Nothing in this world are sure I do believe.

Minsan kailangan kong mapag-isa

Isipin ang bukas nang di alam kung sinong kasama

Balikan ang nakaraan nang parang kahapon lang

At ipagpatuloy ang buhay nang puno ng pag-asa

I can’t get things back but I still can correct what’s wrong. God wants best for me and for everyone. Being loved by everyone was proven to be one of the healing medicines. I choose who I am right now; no one was given the right to question me for being me. I’m not perfect, never been right and definitely not someone. I’m just me: simple yet confuse. What’s next after this?

Isipin ko mang ako’y malakas

Tao nga lang ako na pipili

Nang kung ano ako pagdating ng bukas

At saan ako pagkatapos ng pagpili

Ayokong isipin ako’y mahina

Ngunit walang magawa kundi umasa

Sana’y ako’y isang higit pa sa ako

Na sa pagdaan ng panaho’y mawawalan ng taong mahal ko

Mag-isa kong aalamin

Ang bahagi ng pagkatao ko

Di kalian man matatanggap

Kung ‘di ako magpapaka-ako

‘di ang katalinuhan ang sukatan ng pagkatao

O ‘di kaya’y saang lugar na ang iyong narrating

Sapat nang ika’y natutong kumilala

At magpatawad sa mga taong minsan kang nasaktan

Walang perpektong mundo para sa tulad ko

Di hadlang ang pagbabago at handa sa pagbabago

Simpleng bukas kasama ang simpleng pangarap

Na sa huli tayo’y magkakasama ng mapayapa

Ayokong isipin ang katapusan

Di dahil takot akong lumisan

Kundi dahil alam kong kinabukasan

May sagot sa aking mga katanungan